After a lovemaking session with someone you care about, you feel more connected to them, relaxed, in tune with your body, focused or in silent peace. I hope so! The heightened physical arousal causes our minds to become ultra focused, either on the moment or on a fantasy. The body becomes more acutely responsive to stimuli. Blood flow and temperature increase. Endorphins fire in the brain. This magical experience unique to humans seems to me a gift from Spirit to be understood and appreciated. The drive for sex is so compelling, there must be something huge for us to gain from it. Up until recently that impetus was reproduction, survival of the species. However today, at least in first world nations, that is not the primary motivator.
Sex can be a practice of self growth. Sex represents closeness, specialness, power, novelty, passion. It requires vulnerability and trust, strength, harmony, courage, communication, giving, receiving, and time. When you consider these qualities during the act there is play and an amplification of them, even beyond the bedroom. Often times the way you act in sex represents parts of your character, sometimes unconscious ones. Role playing and fantasizing can be likened to dreams in your sleep, a symbolic act representative of who you truly are. Sex can help you get in touch with parts of yourself you have hidden away. It can also be a time to learn about relationship dynamics with your partner or with men or women in general. Do you shy away from receiving oral? Do you ask for what you want? Do you dominate the act? When you consider how you show up in bed, see if it tells you something about your relationship to your body or your communication style. Try new things and see if you can learn something about yourself, your partner, and the way you relate.
The power and energy of sex can be a forceful and positive motivator in our lives. Often times it encourages people to take care of their body, to exercise, to sleep and eat well. Good sex helps us connect with others and ourselves. It relieves stress. Where does all of this goodness come from!? With the intention to share with someone so deeply, a spark ignites that invites all of these great qualities. Your body becomes electric, literally nerves are firing and blood is rushing. This animation is the soul within body. Your attraction is not limited to the physical, there is something about who this person is, about who you are, who you can be, that stirs you up inside. There is something about being human and having a body that is so electrifyingly sexy. When Spirit animates a person they glow and others watch in want, hopefully stoking their own fire similarly. When two (or more) people dive into the sheets and each other's skin, they light up something beyond them. They channel etheric bodies where anything is possible. Seeing people making love, or yourself in the mirror (if you've had the pleasure), is a jaw dropping, heart-stopping experience. It's like being visited by an angel or hearing the voice of a deceased loved one, there's a magic there that shows us we are more than we ever dreamed of. Spirit created humans with this capability to embody in the flesh Love that has existed always.
Next time you're making love, let go of all the small obsessions of daily life, invite in a penetrating beam of Spirit, immerse yourself in it's piercing white light, know that you are connected to a Truth that originates to the beginnings of Life, a Truth your mother and father shared, a Truth that wove your DNA and urged your soul to come alive. In making love today you rejoin with the moment your life was put into motion and it's purpose for ever after.
Orgasm is a reset button. It clears away the tiny chaos that infiltrates our lives. Emerge from bed renewed in your greatest life purpose, restored to your authentic unencumbered self. It's a journey with many steps. Grasp this opportunity.
PS: you can do it without a partner.
Sunday, December 28, 2014
Friday, December 26, 2014
Taking for Granted or Taking a Stand
In a world of scarcity people are taught to appreciate what they're given. Children are told not to complain. In a time where gratitude is prescribed, when do we demand more?
Case in point: you are five years deep with a man, amazing on many accounts: smart, attractive, fit, active, loves the outdoors, reads, great family, close friends, adventurous. (And then we all wait for the BUT...) But there's something missing. There's an ache in your heart, other men catch your eye, the ping of mild dissatisfaction eats at you. Anything more blatant would be easy. When someone disgusts us or offends us, it's easier to say adios. But what happens with the pretty good guy we've found ourselves in deep with?
One way to sort the facets is dividing your desired partner's traits in two: deal breakers and compromisables. Deal breakers are things you need from a mate and you just can't negotiate on. For me they are spirituality, sexual vivacity, physical fitness, integrity, connection to nature and commitment to loving self and others. Compromisables are characteristics you consider in a partner but the absence of one wouldn't necessarily mean the relationship couldn't thrive. (thrive... that work is important later) For me a few items I might negotiate on but are highly desired: cleanliness, attractiveness, intelligence, personable, kindness, traveler, healthy relationships with family, body, substances, food, sex, moderate in their consumption of resources, financially sustained, cares for their belongings, connects with others, a healer of some sort, overcomes fear, seeks to increase love in all directions, focused on life path. How do we learn what these lists comprise of? Trial and error! Every relationship, every year that goes by, I know more and more what I need, and what I don't. I learn how to soften my demands where possible and to firm up and clarify them when it's crucial. It's just as important to know how to compromise as it is to be able to take a stand.
Thrive. Thrive! We set up relationships to thrive, not just survive. Almost anything can survive with enough work-arounds. But is that a life? Is that a life you want to live? Is that a relationship you want to commit yourself to? When we aren't afraid of trial and error, in this grand experiment in love and loss, we can dedicate ourselves to thriving and no less. You may be compromising on items that are really deal breakers for you. A person can never be happy trying to make do with a deal breaker. Be honest, I know it's scary!
So with all of this demanding no less than a thriving life, how to we keep from taking our relationships for granted? I mentioned the grand experiment of love. If we can view each relationship as another trial in the experiment, we can value each crush, fling, heartbreak and soulmate as lesson getting us closer to truth, regardless of immediate outcome. Given enough trials and paying attention to the lessons, you will be clued in to your deal breakers. You will know who you are and what you want. From that place of knowing, we can appreciate and sustain relationships that help us thrive. Don't let a permanent state of yearning keep you from enjoying the love of your life! You might get so caught up in uncertainty that a lifelong love passes you by (or you pass it!).
How could we even be grateful for something when we don't know what we want! Know what you want and then support that. Just because finding a divine match seems impossible doesn't mean you should settle for less than your heart needs. And when you've found it, don't leave him behind just because he's an imperfect human. If you two can be equal teammates in your shared vision to flourish, and fulfill each other's deal breakers (plus some), celebrate! Align your mental state with reality so that you give yourself permission for every dream to come true and to recognize the miracles happening right before your eyes.
Case in point: you are five years deep with a man, amazing on many accounts: smart, attractive, fit, active, loves the outdoors, reads, great family, close friends, adventurous. (And then we all wait for the BUT...) But there's something missing. There's an ache in your heart, other men catch your eye, the ping of mild dissatisfaction eats at you. Anything more blatant would be easy. When someone disgusts us or offends us, it's easier to say adios. But what happens with the pretty good guy we've found ourselves in deep with?
One way to sort the facets is dividing your desired partner's traits in two: deal breakers and compromisables. Deal breakers are things you need from a mate and you just can't negotiate on. For me they are spirituality, sexual vivacity, physical fitness, integrity, connection to nature and commitment to loving self and others. Compromisables are characteristics you consider in a partner but the absence of one wouldn't necessarily mean the relationship couldn't thrive. (thrive... that work is important later) For me a few items I might negotiate on but are highly desired: cleanliness, attractiveness, intelligence, personable, kindness, traveler, healthy relationships with family, body, substances, food, sex, moderate in their consumption of resources, financially sustained, cares for their belongings, connects with others, a healer of some sort, overcomes fear, seeks to increase love in all directions, focused on life path. How do we learn what these lists comprise of? Trial and error! Every relationship, every year that goes by, I know more and more what I need, and what I don't. I learn how to soften my demands where possible and to firm up and clarify them when it's crucial. It's just as important to know how to compromise as it is to be able to take a stand.
Thrive. Thrive! We set up relationships to thrive, not just survive. Almost anything can survive with enough work-arounds. But is that a life? Is that a life you want to live? Is that a relationship you want to commit yourself to? When we aren't afraid of trial and error, in this grand experiment in love and loss, we can dedicate ourselves to thriving and no less. You may be compromising on items that are really deal breakers for you. A person can never be happy trying to make do with a deal breaker. Be honest, I know it's scary!
So with all of this demanding no less than a thriving life, how to we keep from taking our relationships for granted? I mentioned the grand experiment of love. If we can view each relationship as another trial in the experiment, we can value each crush, fling, heartbreak and soulmate as lesson getting us closer to truth, regardless of immediate outcome. Given enough trials and paying attention to the lessons, you will be clued in to your deal breakers. You will know who you are and what you want. From that place of knowing, we can appreciate and sustain relationships that help us thrive. Don't let a permanent state of yearning keep you from enjoying the love of your life! You might get so caught up in uncertainty that a lifelong love passes you by (or you pass it!).
How could we even be grateful for something when we don't know what we want! Know what you want and then support that. Just because finding a divine match seems impossible doesn't mean you should settle for less than your heart needs. And when you've found it, don't leave him behind just because he's an imperfect human. If you two can be equal teammates in your shared vision to flourish, and fulfill each other's deal breakers (plus some), celebrate! Align your mental state with reality so that you give yourself permission for every dream to come true and to recognize the miracles happening right before your eyes.
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