Hunger

Hunger drives us. It is a great power when a human has a desire for something, she is propelled forward in the search for it and on the way learns new things and eventually, hopefully, finds satisfaction. Those uncomfortable moments, eye glances from a stranger, holding your breath or a yoga pose, hunger pangs, are powerful growing moments. When we can take the time to go deep into these moments, we come out renewed, wiser, closer to understanding. When we shy away from them constantly our selves shrink and the limitations of life seem to hover overhead.

Today is day 5 of the cleanse. I feel hungry, and weak. My muscles are aching and my mouth is salivating. Thoughts of ending early and eating solid food tempt me. But I know that the body is chemically changing. My thyroid and adrenals are learning to cope. My liver is releasing months of toxins. My body begins to circulate stored fat. I went on a hike yesterday and a walk today to tell my muscles not to start breaking down. My strength and functionality are teetering so that I slip into an altered state. Talks of spirituality are frequent. I moved furniture and got rid of things. I've been confronting areas of my life that have felt handicapped and unattended to.

I'm starting to have fear of how I'm going to face the next couple of days, more cleansing and more dealing with what hasn't been working. Talking to others about issues. It's exhausting and easily circumnavigated but now it's necessary for me to move on and grow in the best way.