I'm writing after more than a year of blog silence. I'm sitting here with a caffeine withdrawal headache, congested nose and ears, sore throat, in my pajamas, at noon. I could easily blame myself for getting sick, for returning to coffee after a year and a half hiatus, for overdoing it on the travels. Instead I realize how wise this body is. An automatic wake up call that only goes off when I need it. The headache and pain is toxic waste, physical, mental and spiritual, leaving. I know that thousands of cells are repairing themselves right now, repairing me. And other cells are silently escorting away anything stagnant, malign, or unnecessary.
In the pain of life I can see newness and act creatively towards vibrance again. Every so often it's time to create a new self. A new identity, relationship, home, job, diet, routine, friends, communication style, hobby. My life slips into the mundane and I feel as though I'm doing well in my accomplishments and appearances. But the fire inside is only chugging along mechanically, without inspiration. Until the machine slowly halts and my self within agonizes over what went wrong and the point of it all. Until my spirit within wonders at the ever available opportunity to create anew.
I'm starting a cleanse today. Not only a cleanse away from food and focused on body detox, this cleanse is washing away the grime and muck of resistance and separation and healing the innocent drive towards affection and play.
Last night I slept for eleven hours. I am now entertaining the variety of housing options for Burningman, which I embark on next Friday, at the end of the cleanse. I juiced apples and mixed in spirulina and drew a face steam bath. I'm going to pray with my prayer partner in a few minutes. I don't think I'll leave the house today. Except maybe my usual walk around the neighborhood.
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