Sex as Spirituality

After a lovemaking session with someone you care about, you feel more connected to them, relaxed, in tune with your body, focused or in silent peace. I hope so!  The heightened physical arousal causes our minds to become ultra focused, either on the moment or on a fantasy. The body becomes more acutely responsive to stimuli. Blood flow and temperature increase. Endorphins fire in the brain. This magical experience unique to humans seems to me a gift from Spirit to be understood and appreciated. The drive for sex is so compelling, there must be something huge for us to gain from it. Up until recently that impetus was reproduction, survival of the species. However today, at least in first world nations, that is not the primary motivator.

Sex can be a practice of self growth. Sex represents closeness, specialness, power, novelty, passion. It requires vulnerability and trust, strength, harmony, courage, communication, giving, receiving, and time. When you consider these qualities during the act there is play and an amplification of them, even beyond the bedroom. Often times the way you act in sex represents parts of your character, sometimes unconscious ones. Role playing and fantasizing can be likened to dreams in your sleep, a symbolic act representative of who you truly are. Sex can help you get in touch with parts of yourself you have hidden away. It can also be a time to learn about relationship dynamics with your partner or with men or women in general. Do you shy away from receiving oral? Do you ask for what you want? Do you dominate the act? When you consider how you show up in bed, see if it tells you something about your relationship to your body or your communication style. Try new things and see if you can learn something about yourself, your partner, and the way you relate.

The power and energy of sex can be a forceful and positive motivator in our lives. Often times it encourages people to take care of their body, to exercise, to sleep and eat well. Good sex helps us connect with others and ourselves. It relieves stress. Where does all of this goodness come from!? With the intention to share with someone so deeply, a spark ignites that invites all of these great qualities. Your body becomes electric, literally nerves are firing and blood is rushing. This animation is the soul within body. Your attraction is not limited to the physical, there is something about who this person is, about who you are, who you can be, that stirs you up inside. There is something about being human and having a body that is so electrifyingly sexy. When Spirit animates a person they glow and others watch in want, hopefully stoking their own fire similarly. When two (or more) people dive into the sheets and each other's skin, they light up something beyond them. They channel etheric bodies where anything is possible. Seeing people making love, or yourself in the mirror (if you've had the pleasure), is a jaw dropping, heart-stopping experience. It's like being visited by an angel or hearing the voice of a deceased loved one, there's a magic there that shows us we are more than we ever dreamed of. Spirit created humans with this capability to embody in the flesh Love that has existed always.

Next time you're making love, let go of all the small obsessions of daily life, invite in a penetrating beam of Spirit, immerse yourself in it's piercing white light, know that you are connected to a Truth that originates to the beginnings of Life, a Truth your mother and father shared, a Truth that wove your DNA and urged your soul to come alive. In making love today you rejoin with the moment your life was put into motion and it's purpose for ever after.

Orgasm is a reset button. It clears away the tiny chaos that infiltrates our lives. Emerge from bed renewed in your greatest life purpose, restored to your authentic unencumbered self. It's a journey with many steps. Grasp this opportunity.

PS: you can do it without a partner.

Taking for Granted or Taking a Stand

In a world of scarcity people are taught to appreciate what they're given. Children are told not to complain. In a time where gratitude is prescribed, when do we demand more?

Case in point: you are five years deep with a man, amazing on many accounts: smart, attractive, fit, active, loves the outdoors, reads, great family, close friends, adventurous. (And then we all wait for the BUT...) But there's something missing. There's an ache in your heart, other men catch your eye, the ping of mild dissatisfaction eats at you. Anything more blatant would be easy. When someone disgusts us or offends us, it's easier to say adios. But what happens with the pretty good guy we've found ourselves in deep with?

One way to sort the facets is dividing your desired partner's traits in two: deal breakers and compromisables. Deal breakers are things you need from a mate and you just can't negotiate on. For me they are spirituality, sexual vivacity, physical fitness, integrity, connection to nature and commitment to loving self and others. Compromisables are characteristics you consider in a partner but the absence of one wouldn't necessarily mean the relationship couldn't thrive. (thrive... that work is important later) For me a few items I might negotiate on but are highly desired: cleanliness, attractiveness, intelligence, personable, kindness, traveler, healthy relationships with family, body, substances, food, sex, moderate in their consumption of resources, financially sustained, cares for their belongings, connects with others, a healer of some sort, overcomes fear, seeks to increase love in all directions, focused on life path. How do we learn what these lists comprise of? Trial and error! Every relationship, every year that goes by, I know more and more what I need, and what I don't. I learn how to soften my demands where possible and to firm up and clarify them when it's crucial. It's just as important to know how to compromise as it is to be able to take a stand.

Thrive. Thrive! We set up relationships to thrive, not just survive. Almost anything can survive with enough work-arounds. But is that a life? Is that a life you want to live? Is that a relationship you want to commit yourself to? When we aren't afraid of trial and error, in this grand experiment in love and loss, we can dedicate ourselves to thriving and no less. You may be compromising on items that are really deal breakers for you. A person can never be happy trying to make do with a deal breaker. Be honest, I know it's scary!

So with all of this demanding no less than a thriving life, how to we keep from taking our relationships for granted? I mentioned the grand experiment of love. If we can view each relationship as another trial in the experiment, we can value each crush, fling, heartbreak and soulmate as lesson getting us closer to truth, regardless of immediate outcome. Given enough trials and paying attention to the lessons, you will be clued in to your deal breakers. You will know who you are and what you want. From that place of knowing, we can appreciate and sustain relationships that help us thrive. Don't let a permanent state of yearning keep you from enjoying the love of your life! You might get so caught up in uncertainty that a lifelong love passes you by (or you pass it!).

How could we even be grateful for something when we don't know what we want! Know what you want and then support that. Just because finding a divine match seems impossible doesn't mean you should settle for less than your heart needs. And when you've found it, don't leave him behind just because he's an imperfect human. If you two can be equal teammates in your shared vision to flourish, and fulfill each other's deal breakers (plus some), celebrate! Align your mental state with reality so that you give yourself permission for every dream to come true and to recognize the miracles happening right before your eyes.

Openly Humble, Admitting a Mistake

No matter how open I feel I am with people now, a part of me works strenuously to maintain a public image. Truths that expose weakness in me to the point of wondering if I'm still lovable are to unbearable to think of, nonetheless speak of! While maintaining an image and keeping some things private is functional, especially in the professional realm, I am ready to open myself up even more. I have gut reactions to hide at times and now I've begun to realize when that happens and ask myself why I hide. Sometimes within minutes I can auto-correct and "come clean." When I exaggerate a story or say something I know isn't true I can quickly say, umm... that's not what I meant, what I mean is... Or make a joke of it! (my favorite) I've found that when I can do this I actually feel closer to the person and I think it is reciprocal.

And when I've found out that a younger me has kept a hurtful secret for way too long I ask my adult self to have the courage to stand up and admit I was wrong. Some part of me doesn't want this, still. But I know the only way I can step into my fullest womanhood is to shed light on the areas I've folded into darkness.

Expression and Creativity

Today I went to Lenz Arts and picked through hundreds of canvas options and came home with two of the largest that would fit in my car. As soon as I got my car unloaded and food in me I sat down to paint and didn't get up until the canvas was covered. I wonder if I should be painting with a goal but for now I'm enjoying opening up paint colors and trying different brushes and seeing what comes out of me. Somehow I still know what to do next and when it is finished. I'm glad to have my creative side back and to have inspiration and discipline to do the art.

Love Heart Medicine

What is love? Countless answers, contradictions, and struggling for understanding. A pure spark of joy. An aching, throbbing pain. An immersive bliss. Staring into the divine, looking God in the face, dancing with Creation. Attachment. Connection with other. Respect for self. Powerful. Vulnerability. Rawness, Richness, Aliveness. Full body breathing. Giving up trying to comprehend. Trying again in desperate search for answers. Realizing the futility of attempting control. Giving in to the dynamic fluidity of love's grace.

Brother Love was a man at Rainbow Gathering who would ask hundreds of people each year, Love is...? He handed out printed sheets of the answers from the previous year.
http://theworldaccordingtochinacat.wordpress.com/tag/rainbow-gathering/

I believe our task as humans is to return again and again to living in love. Life will continue to dish out opportunities for us to be in love and it's our calling to learn how to say yes!

Ease in Transition

Today is the final day of the 7 day cleanse. Because I had a juice everyday I don't feel the violently hungry but still I'm beginning to make the transition back to solid food. I had an orange juice with yogurt this morning: orange julius! Yum! My body doesn't feel malnourished or dehydrated and yet I know I still need to gradually build up my strength and digestion. It's a challenge for me to take things easy but I know that putting in the right preparation makes everything after that much better.

Zing!

Just downed a 16oz. orange juice that I fresh pressed. Zing! Like whoa! My body is waking up! Every cell seems to be responding with more energy. My stomach has started working again, producing enzymes and movement. There's a lot of work to be done this week, especially before Burningman, which I leave for on Thursday. I try to stay focused on the moment and the task at hand. Today is day six of the cleanse and I feel refreshed this morning.

Hunger

Hunger drives us. It is a great power when a human has a desire for something, she is propelled forward in the search for it and on the way learns new things and eventually, hopefully, finds satisfaction. Those uncomfortable moments, eye glances from a stranger, holding your breath or a yoga pose, hunger pangs, are powerful growing moments. When we can take the time to go deep into these moments, we come out renewed, wiser, closer to understanding. When we shy away from them constantly our selves shrink and the limitations of life seem to hover overhead.

Today is day 5 of the cleanse. I feel hungry, and weak. My muscles are aching and my mouth is salivating. Thoughts of ending early and eating solid food tempt me. But I know that the body is chemically changing. My thyroid and adrenals are learning to cope. My liver is releasing months of toxins. My body begins to circulate stored fat. I went on a hike yesterday and a walk today to tell my muscles not to start breaking down. My strength and functionality are teetering so that I slip into an altered state. Talks of spirituality are frequent. I moved furniture and got rid of things. I've been confronting areas of my life that have felt handicapped and unattended to.

I'm starting to have fear of how I'm going to face the next couple of days, more cleansing and more dealing with what hasn't been working. Talking to others about issues. It's exhausting and easily circumnavigated but now it's necessary for me to move on and grow in the best way.

Presence

With so many things on my plate it is tempting to wander in thought and scatter myself. Today I find presence, focus. Getting through one task is a major accomplishment. How many things are half done because I anxiously move on to the next? Forgetting to enjoy the tea, rushing through a goodbye with a friend, worry about the unfinished business. Waves are a pattern that have come up recently. Waves of deepening and then resurfacing. Waves of joy and then sudden sadness. Waves of pain followed by greater ease. Waves of movement and stagnation. I tried surfing once and didn't like it. I got tossed around and felt that I had no direction. I would consider trying it again, with lessons. Life waves are ones we must all surf. We do get tossed around but there isn't much more to do than go with it or get better.

Today is day four of the week long cleanse. I'm feeling a bit slow and tired but happy and alive. I went to the hot tubs yesterday and sunbathed and sat by the beach. I got some clothing for Burningman. Today I'll go on a hike in beautiful Nisene Marks.

Reconnecting

It doesn't take long to reconnect with our bodies, the healing waters, and deep wisdom. After a day of cleansing I already feel clearer. I feel as though I can see better. I feel more comfortable in my body. I'm facing issues that have been lingering in the background for months. I even called the IRS today to work out a discrepancy on my taxes. There are still some areas that feel clouded. I suppose there's nothing more I can do than surrender; even fog is a signal.

Our Body's Primal Inteligence

I'm writing after more than a year of blog silence. I'm sitting here with a caffeine withdrawal headache, congested nose and ears, sore throat, in my pajamas, at noon. I could easily blame myself for getting sick, for returning to coffee after a year and a half hiatus, for overdoing it on the travels. Instead I realize how wise this body is. An automatic wake up call that only goes off when I need it. The headache and pain is toxic waste, physical, mental and spiritual, leaving. I know that thousands of cells are repairing themselves right now, repairing me. And other cells are silently escorting away anything stagnant, malign, or unnecessary.

In the pain of life I can see newness and act creatively towards vibrance again. Every so often it's time to create a new self. A new identity, relationship, home, job, diet, routine, friends, communication style, hobby. My life slips into the mundane and I feel as though I'm doing well in my accomplishments and appearances. But the fire inside is only chugging along mechanically, without inspiration. Until the machine slowly halts and my self within agonizes over what went wrong and the point of it all. Until my spirit within wonders at the ever available opportunity to create anew.

I'm starting a cleanse today. Not only a cleanse away from food and focused on body detox, this cleanse is washing away the grime and muck of resistance and separation and healing the innocent drive towards affection and play.

Last night I slept for eleven hours. I am now entertaining the variety of housing options for Burningman, which I embark on next Friday, at the end of the cleanse. I juiced apples and mixed in spirulina and drew a face steam bath. I'm going to pray with my prayer partner in a few minutes. I don't think I'll leave the house today. Except maybe my usual walk around the neighborhood.